Consider this article

http://www.wikihow.com/Express-Your-Emotional-Pain-the-Healthy-Way

The After Myth by Lisak

https://cannebodyhearme.wordpress.com/2015/04/13/the-after-myth/

WHEN I GET THIN LIFE WILL BE PERFECT

Day 4 WHEN I GET THIN LIFE WILL BE PERFECT
Saturday, May 23, 2015 6:32 PM

DAY 4…The fairy tale little girl in me would like to think everything will be perfect WHEN I AM THIN.
The most important thing pycholgically is that there is NO BEFORE OR AFTER JUST DURING.[Thank you lisa 87 for this enlightment].

That AFTER this weight is off….somehow I think I am connecting being thin to eternal happiness…how crazy is that? That a size___ will make all my probelms go away…That cleaning a dirty toilet is going to smell different when I am a size 6.

I am reminded about the day I visited our home that was in construction mode several years ago…They had just put in the white cabinets,white floors…the floors were spotless…everything was PERFECT.

It was necessary for me to to remember LIFE GETS MESSY…after new contruction.There is only during as time passes in this life with all its ups and downs.

The kitchen floors of this beautiful spotless ‘never been lived in before kitchen’ would get dirty…need to be dealt with…

Just like life every single day…

BEAUTIFUL MESSY IMPERFECT LIFE is always happening during.

I am 50 something years young,married for 30yrs ,three kids, house and three sweet dogs that are the yippie kind but they are so full of love. I am a very imperfect person who publicly lets you know I live for and love Jesus. He is the lover of my soul and desires to restore me to what He had originally intended.I give myself to Him everyday freely yielding my will to Him each moment.I will do this by living and feeling in the present- one day-one moment- at a time. I have lost myself in my kids and want to remember who I use to be and actively pursue all that I can become by abiding in Him…the ultimate higher power…MY SUPER POWER!!!!

HOME ALONE

Quiet…not a sound in the house. Will I have the strength that I need to be true to myself? Alone with myself and a faint whisper tells me,’ You can use this long Memorial Day weekend home alone to accomplish so much without the interruptions the family brings when they are home or you have free reign to order pizza in the privacy of your “alone-ness”. Although I posted last time that this was the beginning of my journey to weight loss…I have actually visited this rodeo several times.The encouragement comes in that ‘I HAVE this’…because it is no longer a food plan and about my physical body as much as it is a love and vow I have for and to myself to stay true to myself…So I am going to be fine.It is no longer about feeling deprived but about ‘Will I abandoning myself and my soul for a temporary pleasure or escape…?” I do not want to escape…I want to face whatever emotion I do not want to feel.I am learning to except life on life’s terms and part of that is trusting myself to do the right thing when no one is here to watch me..The truth is, my family honestly are too preoccupied with themselves to care if I sneak the pizza,eat the ice-cream,escape in whatever delicacy I decide to indulge in.Truth,it is me watching  me that is more shameful and hateful than anyone else watching me… So in this very moment  I have all the strength I need in the moment to be true to myself.

Documenting my First Steps on the Journey

Joined My Fitness Pal 2 days ago.I like the site.I like my goals clearly posted in front of me and I like how it does a lot of the work for you so I can concentrate on the real work.Listening to what it is I am really hungry for. Am I starved for affection,a listening ear,true love,someone to laugh with…? The list could go on and on. As of May 2015 I weigh 237.5 and am about 5″3.5-5’4